6.18.2009

Douceur

I'm offering a nice little bunch of flowers that I cut this morning to all my readers. You're a reason why I keep creating and writing. I sincerely thank all of you! *Ahem, dont look at the dust, I wasn't expecting anyone this morning!*

***************
I'm seeing a psycho-therapist since 3 weeks. A real gem. A wonderful woman. She already helped me tremendously to change my perceptions, my habits and my attitudes. I learned a proper way to ask things from others. I learned not to overreact when I see things that are displeasing to me (such as finding dirty socks under the table or toys all over the kitchen). I learned that when you change perspective, you change emotions. Seems obvious to some, maybe, but it wasn't for me. Not until recently.

Today, I learned 2 very important things: 

1- There's always a way to make things better. That means you never finish a thing unless you stop at one point wanting to do more/better. 

I'm wasting so much time and energy trying to do/be better and obviously, perfection is an ideal that can never really be attained... I found out that when I get to the point where I realize that I'll not reach that ideal, I usually give up. I quit. I resign. I leave. So now I'll have to work on making things imperfectly. To botch my work. Literally. To be able to find a balance. I was recommended to make a lot of blunders - can you believe it! That's a relief after being told all my life to 'either do something well (read: perfectly) or don't do it'.

2- You cannot recover if you don't treat yourself gently.

When your leg is broken, you should not walk on it, you need to relax and take time to heal. 
When your mental is broken, you should not 'walk' on it, you need to relax and take time to heal.  

Key-sentence of the week: "I treat myself with gentleness". This is so powerful for me that I couldn't retain my tears after the meeting. I'm being so harsh with myself, so harsh. Many people told me but I never fully believed it. Until now. Until I was asked to repeat this sentence. My PT also suggested that I use my art to integrate this message, by either, for example, painting something that represents gentleness or by creating magnets with the word Douceur (gentleness) to remind me about it. 

Can't wait to finish my contracts to paint on that theme. Of course, making lots of blunders.

2 comments:

jeweledrabbit/Maureen said...

The flowers are lovely.

Don't sweat the dust. ;)

Anonymous said...

Audrey, belle amie devant l'Éternel
merci d'avoir entrepris cette grande réconciliation
Je t'aime, je te trouve belle
et je suis la, sur la pointe des pieds, a te lire, a t'espérer a etre heureuse with yourself,

Amé xxx